Robert's Random Rants - About Not Enough RESPECT for Strong Women

This rant is directed to insecure men. Not to knock my gender, but I feel compelled to speak out when I hear men disrespect strong-willed women.

I've raised three sons to be good young men with good healthy relationships with strong women. I watched them date and the meek and quiet women never lasted. The women with direction, confidence, that were self-assured, won my sons' hearts. My daughter is a pre-teen and is destined to be in charge of something when she gets older...she is practically there now-ha. She encouraged me to write this,as she knows about my writing. We were talking (I was ranting slightly about not letting anybody ,especially any boy boss her around) about when you expect respect, you are more likely to receive it. When you don't respect yourself, no one else is likely to either.

Unfortunately, many men [not all] have an unhealthy fear of strong-minded women and miss out on huge benefits of a healthy relationship. Back in my dating years, I spent time with women that thought that to be subservient was the way to a man's heart. Whatever I wanted, I got. Whatever I wanted to do, we did. My ideas were always right. My opinion was always correct. BS. Being KING was fun for about a week and then it got old really fast.

I have hopes and aspirations for my daughter. None of them include being intimidated by or subservient to anybody. She is talented, smart and has confidence I never had when I was her age. She is also not far off from falling in love. She has three 6' plus brothers that adore and respect her. I wouldn't want to be the first boy that breaks her heart. Love relationships make you say and do crazy things in the beginning. We all like to be liked and wanted, especially by the people we love and respect the most. Some of the things that frustrate me the most about my daughter are actually the very things I am most proud of. She knows her mind- I like that part. She is stubborn - As a parent, I am frustrated at that part. She is not cocky, but she knows she is right most of the time (painfully, learning the social skills necessary to deal with less knowledgeable adults and supervisors). She makes straight A's, is in a performing arts school (grades 6-12) where, at age 11, is the principal cello in the school's intermediate orchestra, in her 6th year of ballet, and is proficient at the piano and a great person; someone you would lucky to know and call a friend.

A woman friend of ours runs a community service organization for battered women. It is sad to see women (and their children) involved in an abusive relationship. I am not a psychologist, and wouldn't attempt to discern the thought processes these women go through that doesn't give them enough self-respect to leave, or better yet, not to get into that kind of relationship in the first place. True love in a relationship should include respect and trust. Those attributes come in whole parts only. There is no 50% respect or 90% trust. There is no 95% virginity. It is either there or it is not.

My Dad had drinking issues. He hit my Mom only once. That was when I was 13. I didn't see him again for 15 years. My mother gave no second chances in areas that require 100% to survive. When I first met my wife fifteen years ago, I was dating someone else. She lived upstairs in the same apartment complex. I was a single Dad with three young boys. It was clear from the very start that if I was to pursue a relationship, there would be no others. Either she was the one or she wasn't. I respected that. I was attracted by that. The woman I had been dating couldn't believe I was breaking it off when I hadn't even asked my soon-to-be wife even out on a date yet. I knew I would have to look her in the eye and tell the truth when she asked if I was seeing anyone else. That was 15 years ago. I know that there aren't any "second chances" if I were to screw up. Either I respect that relationship and her or I don't. Black or white. 100% or nothing. That is what I wish for my daughter. There will be heartache, but the one person you cannot hide from in life is yourself. I wish her to be true to herself. Not everyone can handle that.Everyone should respect her for that.

o